Tag Archives: realisation

Refelctions from an Amelia Kinkade Animal Communications course 7/12

 

Lessons keep coming: Refelctions from an Amelia Kinkade Animal Communications course

Amelia Kinkade, ( http://ameliakinkade.com), what an amazing oportunity to meet and grow with her as a guide.

After arriving home from my clinic with Amelia, my outlook was eased. We learned a lot , got a lot of affirmations to our communicative abilities, but also were asked to reflect inwards.

We were asked to release and forgive ourselves. Not easy to do. But I think everyone (40 students), made a good leap in the right direction, including me, LOL

We were also asked to define “Home” or “It” by Brian Reid, ( http://horsesknowthewayhome.com) .

Yes, as an added treat we were able to also learn from Brian Reid of HKTWH and the wonderful Shire mare Brenda Lee. The joining of these three teachers was huge!

Most of my time with my horses or those of boarders or students is not affirmed. By this I mean much of what I sence is gut and I go with it. I have learned its good enough and usually darn close. This past weekend I got a ton of affirmations that I was on track. My daily routine is practice enough I guess. I always take into account that little voice for me and for the horses.

Going to this weekend I was a bit unsure as I hadnt really been tested so to speak. We had our first group reading of the day after lunch on day 2( I had jumped in on day 2 due to prior commitment at my own farm) . I was called on by Amelia to say what I had received, so I did. No pressure! Freakily enough it was in sync with Amelia’s readings as well. Yicks. Some things I did not say she mentioned too. Omg it was huge. Next time I will literally write everything down.

After arriving home and thinking about things, with a new found depth of awarness and confidence , I realised a lot. I found what home was for me, or a clearer vision of it. Also a new depth on how to really be with my horses. I re assesesd again what my 2012 purpose(s) was, and found a great goal for me that also backed up just being with my horse(s). Funny how a detour leads to a better path to begin with. Its all a great game, and Im a willing player.

A lot of this is unexplainable, as you can imagine. A world reknowned animal communicator and a world reknowned “Life Coach “ working together. Things went deep. As deep as you would allow.

Where am I personally / professionally now? What were my revelations to move to “MY” next level?? Can’t tell it’s personal :)

Each of us has our own journey to travel and mine has been quite a ride. I am so excited now to see a new path to my ultimate goal .

I say, “New path”, but its just an off shoot of where I started yrs ago. Im only following what my horses lead me to. Its good for them and better for me. Thank God I’m an intuative person and even more, willing to go with it no matter what the “Norm” thinks!

***Brian Reid /HKTWH will be at Sable View in 2013. Look for the event info, and be amazed at where the experience take you. Personal and professional growth and awareness. http://horsesknowthewayhome.com

***Amelia Kinkade will be back to VT in May of 2013( still in the works ). Look for this and more up dates at

www.sableview.com

 

 

 

Listen with your eyes, slow down and be open to re-learning.

Great feed back!

Thanks for listening.

 

Sometimes , more often than not , I find myself  asking the universe to slow down and stop sending input. Do you ever get that way?

“For me, once I send the intention out , I know to buckle down for the goodness to come flooding in. Among the goodness is the greatness of learning”.

Learning comes from Students, horses, and life in general. Some time  either side of the equation has to be ready to Re Learn. 

As an instructor/mentor I am always  learning. That is my job. Best job in the world! Never ending self improvement.

In some cases I’m Re-Learning old things come new again. Funny how that works!  Some times its  brought to my attention while I am in learning mode other times it comes to me as I am working through things with my horses,( still learning mode, LOL  ),  or a student’s horse, to find the right answer.

If I ask a question and don’t get the right answer, I  ”Listen with my eyes, slow down and prepare to get potentially uncomfortable as I learn the lesson for the day” =  what the right equation is to find the answer I’m looking for. We must listen to our horses. Inappropriate behavior is not natural for them , its caused by something, It is a communication.

Why do you think this is so  hard for some people to do? ( humble pie…looking in the mirror and accepting your accountability to the situation?).

As a learner I am very introverted. I like  some hand holding, and not a lot of chaos.  I like to observe a lot: extremely visual! I take it home and  replay it in my minds eye while I attempt to emulate the maneuver ,  task or job to be completed.

Horses  , some of them, learn in the same way. They need time, and no chaos! Softness with corrections maybe so, but not with emotion. The real test is keep the emotion out of it for all. Often times  a horse is pushed to a point where they  feel all they  can do is be explosive, mis behave extremely, to get attention.

This is an introvert on the edge! Kinda sounds funny as I type it but its true. Like “Donkey ” in the movie Shrek, “Im a Donkey on the edge.”

In the wrong inexperienced hands( direct line and  predatory, not emotionally fit), this horse will be  man handled to comply: suppressed if you will. We all know it happens .  No one likes this! But then why don’t those who get this way see there is a problem and seek to address it in a more communicative manor. Not to say my idea of True Horsemanship should be  all flowers and  fluff , not at all, but horses  communicate in the purest of ways. If we can learn to respond accordingly and appropriately things will change.

They don’t want to win the game they want to be a part of a fair game. None of us as humans like being involved in a game or discussion which is so one sided. For me I know I just shut down, stop listening and or just walk away. Lots of signs are given prior to this departure, ( mental or physical), but if Im not thought of,  I’m gone. Being human we tend to have a mostly rational response and it is understood, Usually. Our counterpart see’s or perceives a rift and should respond accordingly to re open the door to play or communication. The results can vary depending on the degree of shut down. Horses, depending on the type of  brain they have  can be very rational and calculating in response or just blow. Don’t you love it when you see a horse get the message across . Or depending on the  clueless — ness of the human( Sorry), begin to try.

EX: Don’t think they don’t know where your foot is!  And suddenly  feel nothing from pressure to move off. This is a mild but classic case. Gotta love it!

A good leader, if ever caught in this situation, no one is perfect, (we cant be, we are human),would probably catch the rift before it grew too wide, and if ego was left out,  offer a softer solution and communication would be more 2 way. I do not think that this is being wishy washy. Here you get into a bit of the  school of

” You can’t let them think they’ve won”. How many of you still hear that today around horses. Talk about Human EGO! Again, horse don’t want to win they just want to be a participating member of your herd of 2. They want to know where they stand in your world . They want safety, and comfort. Ok food  and water too but lets hope that goes without saying. When I feel safe and comfortable I have fun.

Don’t you want your horses to have fun, and feel confident to express themselves? Good question huh? Do you know what that requires from us?

A great book “Play to Win ” by Larry and Hersch Wilson, discribes this perfeclty. Might I add this is an amazing book , full of Aha moments, that in  the first chapter clarified what I was going through in my life but couldnt  pin point or discribe to others. I had begun this transformaton and though aware of  it , so much was untangible.

” When we are talking about playing to win in the adventure of our lives, the traditional definitions of winning and losing don’t hold up. Of course , there are times when we need to call on our competative nature to accomplish what we have set out to accomplish. But competing to defeat someone is only one way of responding to the events we encounter. In fact, in the great adventure of our lives, there is no one to defeat.” P 22

In my world what I have found is you need to know what you want and like and will accept as a foundation to teach from with human and horses. But , no person is alike and no horse either , so to assume your way is the only way is quite bold. This holds true for  learners and  teachers. Guess we call it  being Closed Minded! Not seen too much in horses unless pushed too far, for too long and they are on shut down to humans.

From a  learners point of view, USUALLY…  taking what you learn and  making it your own is the very right thing to do. Its you , your horse , your job, so buck up and assume responsibility for your own decisions. Don’t  try it and say , “Ah this  doesn’t work,” because you got a response that backed you off. That my friends is communication“Listen with our eyes”. Admit you don’t know it all and ask for help for sure after  honest attempts have been made by you to find neutral.  This is the process of learning. So what if you might have caused the issue,We usually do. Welcome to the group.  It, thankfully to horses being so forgiving, can usually be fixed. As stated before , usually there are things that happen before the end result. If we all slow down and listen we might be able to not have to go there. It is here, at the ”Cross roads of communication,” that I see a lot of  the inconsistency, and hopping from one  thing to another to avoid  Accountability, (responsibility), to  your own  inadequacies, mistakes,  errors,  is so normal these days , kids and horses suffer. It’s not the  tools or the technique it’s the implementor.

I hear about  this a lot, and eventually see it first hand as  those who are ready to Re-learn( three cheers!!), come to me and ask for  help  finding the  way back to  a better relationship with here horses.  Challenges are opportunities to  grow and get better. With  horse I say they see you and raise you one or ten! Can you meet the challenge, find the way, and be the  leader, the Accountable/Responsible  human leader they need and are asking you to be?

It may not seem like asking when things get weird,( small things were over looked and now it huge), and  your sweet little horse  finally has taken a stand. Someone wants to have a say in the game plan. We can do one of 2 things,  go direct line , or “Listen with your eyes, slow down, and be open to Re Learning”. 

No one thing is perfect including who we look at in the mirror.  But it is that person, who if going it alone, with no willingness to look  imperfect for fear of looking like a failure, who them must eventually come to terms with  the big questions …

Whose fault is this really? Who or what is holding me back?

A very good friend/mentor worked through this with me and others over  a couple summers of intense horsemanship clinics,( not always about the riding), and  last time the group was asked

” What’s holding you back? “, I was very proud to say “Me”.  I got it loud and clear. Open the trunk, put my baggage on the corner and drive away!

No one else makes my final decisions,  plays with my horses, rides them , interacts with my circles of fiends. If I’m going to be what  I want to be, I need to be accountable. The past is over its time for many of us to move on!

Speaking as a horse owner and professional it’s a hard process to go thru but we can’t blame the horse worlds top names, or our childhood, or what ever we might come up with, for our inadequacies.  Its us,  practicing imperfectly, and not Listening with our eyes .  Horses serve up humble pie so well.

If your horse is asking you to step up, it’s the universe opening the door to a learning curve, will you accept the challenge  and  see where it takes you, professionally , personally?  Sometimes it’s not what we want revealed about ourselves.

Again an excerpt from the  book by Larry and Hersch Wilson called “Play to Win”..  discussing Playing to win, or Playing to not loose.

Playing to not loose: Avoiding situations where we might lose, fail, be emotioanlly hurt, or be rejected. p 23

Playing to Win: Consciously going as far as I can with all that I have and learn from what ever happens. p 25

Welcome to  true horsemanship… let the games begin.

 

Winning friends and influencing horses.

Welcome to an excerpt from my up coming E book !

…..And so began my real journey, Unwrapping “D”

Layer by layer, “My Onion” , as I call her, began to reveal herself to me. How privileged I was. In my opinion she was just passed on owner to owner due to her very pretty head and finer features, but not really seen for who she really was. Im thinking the issues I found, were  what others came across  as well and passed her on rather than venture to help her find her real self. Take the time it took.

I made a promise to her she would never be passed on again. She needed to be grounded and trust, to feel like she belonged. We have a special bond. Not always perfect, sometimes like oil and water, but to me it is special and good. Why? You ask, if its not “Perfect”. You see D is so sensative she can feel you coming a mile away. Read your mind  before you even know your thoughts. I had to do in myself what I knew she needed to do. This is a part of Horsemanship not many promote. It should be!  Im blessed to have linked up with the perfect program to go forward for both of us.

The first witner I had her it took all of a couple months to just get her to relax with me ,or anyone else, for that matter in her personal space. A very big personal bubble. Treats, time and quiet all came together along with my little voice tellng me I needed to find a different way to be with her.

As fate would have it when we moved here we got satalite TV. Now I had horses on TV, how awesome! I began to watch the shows even more so when I knew I needed help, to see who made more sense to me. I had many years, since age 7, of ridng experience. Fox Hunting both as a lay member and as professional staff, hunter paces, eventing , showing , collegiate team riding etc , but something was missing. Innately I knew D needed to trust, so I was on track with taking that first winter to allow her to chill.  Imagine what the “Real” world was saying? Peer pressure, Phooey!

My Missions: How to be with her and have her feel the same trust while riden, and to not be so bracy. Is it Physical? Is it emotional?  Is it Me? ( This is a whole other topic but you do know “most often” it is us.)  These are all questions we should ask when things don’t go right. Follow the journey your horse is laying out for you. I did!  Grow and get uncomfortable. This was not simply a door opening, it was a gate way to a powerful journey,

“Making” her didn’t compute, aside from the fact I wasnt 16 any more. 4 kids and a few growing yrs with kids off from real intence horse time changed my perspecitve. Age begins to enter the picture. Any way, enter my decision to follow the world of “Natural Horsemanship” and what an amazing addition that was to my already well established foundation.

NH filled in so many pieces and allowed me to acknowledge my feelings, good bad or indifferent as well what I felt the horse was relaying. Imagine that taking the horses perspective into consideration. Wow!  This was like the best thing. Now I could acknowledge what I had instinctively done but never spoke of it.

To date I still refer to D as “My Onion” I also call her my monitor. When I’m good with her I’m great with everyone else. I am still peeling back layers on both of us. Even as rescently as the last 6 months or so we have reached a new level of communication and understanding. So cool.

Biggest lesson, you cannot make anything happen, and expect to win friends and infuence horses.

***** Look for more excerpts from the E Book, slated to  launch early summer.

 

How many lessons .. Part 2

A revelation to say the least. Since that day I often think back to the exact moment I spoke those words to myself and am amazed at its simplicity and it magnitude .

Protecting and Compensating. These are  two “Guarding” words if you thing about them, right? Technically  I was reffering to my leg, but symbolically, well there is a different story.

My Horsemanship Journey  though technical in many ways is not so much about the horse aspect but the personal growth and development.   Horses are my therapy.  My poor horses! :)   Over the last 8 yrs I have been on a wonderful journey, and of the last 2-3 its been getting really good. I have begun to unlock and reveal me.  How did it begin , at a clinic of all places. It really is so much more than riding. The obstacles and set backs I encounter with my horses  all have a greater purpose.  If it were not for  them I would not be writing this blog post. Why??? Because I would not be  aware enough or ready to hear what those words really meant for me! And more importantly , those of my students .

Compensating and Protecting,  it’s not about the ….leg , but My heart and emotions.  Long story , not a bad one just the way it was. Easier not to feel or express feelings. I know I am not alone in this.

So what came out of this wonderful Ah ha Moment???   I realized how emotionally exhausting it was for me to be on guard, and, that I was.

What was I “Really” scared of anyway???    This was a wake up call. Now its up to me to realistically look at what is holding me back and move it aside, or move through it .

**After adding this link to an older post , I had to laugh, and needed to fess up. I wasn’t denying the disease energy,  I was denying myself emotional release,
( Chicken! Just didn’t want to feel).
” You gain strength, courage and confidnece by every experience in which you  really stop and look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the things you think you can not do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Break free and Play! 

How many lessons will I learn ?? Part 1

Compensating and protecting is exhausting…

Everything I do is in slow motion….Hmm??

Its taken me a while to get to this blog post.  It holds a lot and I think I needed to get distance from the event  that prompted it before I could write about it.

Let me begin with the first statement….

Nearly 9 weeks ago now I under went surgery for Melanoma Cancer. This was the last straw after taking our eldest to college in DC, ( emotionally  hard), getting stuck  due to Hurricane Irene,( fun having extra time with her). Got home after a week, thank God, to begin my next 6 weeks of service at the  food shelf developed  due to Irene. During this period I knew I needed to  get to the Dr to have things checked, finally  I did, and  long story short,  here I am and its all good!

When I began to get back to my barn routine  I was cautious with my leg, walking softly to say the least. One day I was  puttering at best , chipping away at stalls etc when I realised I was so protective of my  right  leg and really giving my left leg a run for its money with compensating . Often times I would take a break and sit on the  shavings bags to rest my leg and back, and move my shoulders around a bit then back to work. I said out loud, to myself, as I often do while in the barn,” Boy this compensating and protecting stuff is hard work”.

With that statement I had so many revelations come rushing in ……..