Tag Archives: life lessons

How I came to understand the handling of disease.

 

How I came to understand the handling of disease.

I wanted to give you a a synapsis of a bigger blog I’m writing , that kind of got away from me as I think I used it to vent . It may not get put out there… it’s good but it does go on a bit.

So for the sake of clarification, I offer you this bit of clarity I found in understanding disease – specifically cancer.

Imagine you and your body just going along, everything seems fine, but a couple things are causing you some minor issues. You treat them or maybe ignore them as they aren’t really in your way yet. Maybe you see a Dr , take med’s, OTC’s or whatever and get through the issue by passing it over – not really addressing the root cause. God forbid we should miss a beat in this fast pace world.

Now relate that to your horses if you have them, or other animals. We go along and in our own little world we think it’s all good. We notice a couple instances where our horse gets a bit pushy, or has an attitude. Lots of people try to carrot their way out of things , instead of correcting it and setting a standard. They don’t want to have the horse not like them because they were mean. (Don’t deprive yourself of things you want even if you know they are not good for you). It’s easier, but is it?

Just this morning while feeding my colt, he got very anxious to eat and if I let that type of behavior go, he will grow to think he can just be a feisty boy and not learn to wait till his feed is placed. I say it is ok to come forward with manners, but not barge. Big life lessons! Sure it takes a bit of time, less than a minute!

Time passes and say you don’t do as I do and let things go thinking “oh he is just a baby” … well babies grow up! They don’t have to be a baby either – this is more often seen by me in well established horses, 6-12 yrs old. You live with them, you really don’t see anything as a potential issue to build for future, and don’t have time to correct anyway. Or do you??? It takes less time to pull a baby weed sprout than a full grow dandelion.

Now back to disease..

So we are going along busy busy and with out thinking really about our body speaking, we just keep taking on new symptom or old symptom getting louder. Typically we take more Otc”s for example and go along. Instant gratification. Got forbid we should stop and think. Again does it take less time now or later?? Hmm….

Time lapse… a couple yrs down the road you finally have an issue you can’t control with OTC’s or prescription stuff. Hmm ?? Dr take another x-ray, hmm? lets get a better look, we see something but we will run a CT Scan.

Results! Take you out at the knees! You have allowed parts of your body become Left Brain dominant ( quietly maneuvering for a dominant positions, stubborn, don’t like to be made to go), and take over as they have not had any instruction, or direction otherwise towards health and the balance.

Dodging OTC’s, and drugs along the way that masked the underlying issues of a whole system /body imbalance- Dis -Ease!

Getting the picture!

Your horse one day when you have a wonderful day in spring to take some time to pay attention to them, and they say, screw you! And Bam. You’re on the ground or if your lucky just had the you know what scared out of you with a display of dominant behavior.
“You want me to behave now? Listen to you now? You ignored me with my whispers now I’m screaming! You never gave me any idea you were leading before, so you’re on my turf now.”

This was my revelation a couple weeks ago as I did stalls and tried to get my head around the health crisis my family is now enduring. Somethings take longer to catch on but bottom line is when your body or your horse is injured and brushed over for too long eventually you will be called to put your big girl/boy pants on and face the music you and only you created.

Horse behavior and disease let go are both dominant bad boys! Why? lack of clear communication and time put in to keep the lines of communication open.

Then you have an issue and all of a sudden you need to step up and assume responsibility for that you have created in you and or your horse.

That’s harder than dealing with it as it comes and finding the root cause. Boredom, poor diet, emotional stressor, etc etc.

Take some time to breathe and think and in the end issues will tap on the door, not knock it down and run you over, because you didn’t take the time to listen. With horses, I say “listen with your eyes”, with your body – feel! It’s simple, every day it speaks to you… just listen.

What we create we can dismantle, and release. Whether it be self inflicted or environmental, a issue can be released and detox can happen , with time and clear communication.

Funny, I was just down in the barn doing my stalls thinking back to this post and ralised soemthign else. This whole thought process can be attributed to raiising our kids too.  That is a whole other topic of which I have an opinion. LOL

Be well~

 

 

 

 

 

An awesome re awakening: A Ph.D and my Horsemanship Journey, what??

Less than a week ago I had a great conversation with Brian Reid of HKTWH with its intent to work out some details re schedule an event spring 2013 at Sable View. Early- mid spring — fyi :)

The call was so not about the scheduling and I’m so happy. Oh sure we discussed some  details but it was the inspiration  absorbed and  the direction the call took me in that is truely awesome.

We discussed  visions and experiences, and how things  line up for a reason. Im all over that. We discussed  past  workshops Brian had held durring th yr, and the outcomes that Brenda inabled. The thinking was very “Forward” . I like Forward!  The negative stuff can’t stick if you’re on a roll. Your horse can’t buck as bad and twist if he is moving forward. Hold him back and bottle him up and , you better be ready to deal with the energy.

As a funny off shoot story here, I had a horse long ago, Oliver ( Ollie). An Irish Sport Horse. We fox hunted, evented into Prelim. He was cool. Anyway a couple of his “things” were , He would spanish walk  naturally, not taught.  So cool. Not a typical Fox hunting thing to do!  It was so easy to  ask him to do. Going down the dirt rds, while roading hounds , all fancy..HAHAHAHA !  I would have him do it long. Most of the time it was requested as every one loved to see it!  He would also on a flat our run across a field do “Airs above the ground” and leep out of his bell boots. Litterally they would go flying almost every time. Not rip but fly!  He was so exhuberant! Just loved life! Funny to other to watch. It was not a scary thing , powerful?  You bet, awesome  in fact, but not scary. Why?? Because once I knew it was his thing, it became  ”Normal”, ( great normal right!) and most importantly it happened with forward motion.  It happend all in stride and it was done and we went on. What a horse! What a teacher!

Now back to my conversation with  BR: Durring our conversation a couple names I hadn’t thought about in a while were brought up. TED (www.TED.com) and another  Brene Brown( www.BreneBrown.com). Its funny how things go full cycle, in this case re-appearing when the student is ready. The word “Vulnerable” played a big part in our talk. We discussed its meaning in some diferent ways . Not suprising I related it to my horsemanship journey as Brian discussed how  his experience with Ms. Browns work was still unfolding new  pages to get through. It all fit.

After our call I was fully charged and went straight to my computer to search out both teaching topics. What came from that is I noted a great opportunity to share with my daughter who is a Jr in HS . The Massechesetts Conference for Woman in Boston MA. www.maconferenceforwomen.org.  Dr. Brene Brown  is one of the key Note speakers, as well as Deepak Chopra and others, WOW!  Long story short  we and a few of her school mates and teachers are going .

The word Vulnerable is probably thought of in one main light by most of society, Including me till now.  Its a strength, not a weakness.  It allows us to do what  I have been prompted to do on a few occations at clinics. Get rid of the baggage and accept you as “Enough” . This is not normal for us humans, its a tall order for a lot of us.  I have had a manta developed  for a few yrs now after a ground breaking Parelli clinic with Jerry Williams, (one of many I might add), and I still  fight the negaitve tendancies. Hmm…guess Im not perfect!  My montra is “I AM GOOD ENOUGH”  made up of very  poignant words and phrases for which the mantra is an Acronym.

If we want to be real with our horses and have our horse be real with us, we need to be real with ourselves. They can see throught us like nothing else and when we even begin to get real they respond instantly. No invisibility cloaks to hide behind. Just be you in all your “Imperfect glory”,  and YOU are enough!

Stay tuned….

 

 

Proud to see them moving on!

Lots of time and thought and emotion has gone into a few select horses who have crossed my path over the last yr. Im happy to say that the last two are readying to move on in their lives with their owners or a new owner.

Support, wisdom and insight can be given only so long and then  everyone needs to step up and out and find how to make it their own. So much potential for  these horses but as not mine I have to also let go and say thank you to them  for lessons learned: Life lessons, horsemanship lessons, and managing humans lessons! the toughest of all.  The horses are the easy part! 

Everyone is on their own journey and  I can see so much more that these humans can gain from these partners they have. Bottom line is, it is not the right time, the students aren’t ready.  This is such a frusteration for me but again a lesson , acknowledging what I know and accepting what is. Tough!

I am very happy to say well done to the horses and best of luck going forward. Never stop teaching  your humans, whomever they may be, especially the hard lessons they really need !

 

 

 

 

Refelctions from an Amelia Kinkade Animal Communications course 7/12

 

Lessons keep coming: Refelctions from an Amelia Kinkade Animal Communications course

Amelia Kinkade, ( http://ameliakinkade.com), what an amazing oportunity to meet and grow with her as a guide.

After arriving home from my clinic with Amelia, my outlook was eased. We learned a lot , got a lot of affirmations to our communicative abilities, but also were asked to reflect inwards.

We were asked to release and forgive ourselves. Not easy to do. But I think everyone (40 students), made a good leap in the right direction, including me, LOL

We were also asked to define “Home” or “It” by Brian Reid, ( http://horsesknowthewayhome.com) .

Yes, as an added treat we were able to also learn from Brian Reid of HKTWH and the wonderful Shire mare Brenda Lee. The joining of these three teachers was huge!

Most of my time with my horses or those of boarders or students is not affirmed. By this I mean much of what I sence is gut and I go with it. I have learned its good enough and usually darn close. This past weekend I got a ton of affirmations that I was on track. My daily routine is practice enough I guess. I always take into account that little voice for me and for the horses.

Going to this weekend I was a bit unsure as I hadnt really been tested so to speak. We had our first group reading of the day after lunch on day 2( I had jumped in on day 2 due to prior commitment at my own farm) . I was called on by Amelia to say what I had received, so I did. No pressure! Freakily enough it was in sync with Amelia’s readings as well. Yicks. Some things I did not say she mentioned too. Omg it was huge. Next time I will literally write everything down.

After arriving home and thinking about things, with a new found depth of awarness and confidence , I realised a lot. I found what home was for me, or a clearer vision of it. Also a new depth on how to really be with my horses. I re assesesd again what my 2012 purpose(s) was, and found a great goal for me that also backed up just being with my horse(s). Funny how a detour leads to a better path to begin with. Its all a great game, and Im a willing player.

A lot of this is unexplainable, as you can imagine. A world reknowned animal communicator and a world reknowned “Life Coach “ working together. Things went deep. As deep as you would allow.

Where am I personally / professionally now? What were my revelations to move to “MY” next level?? Can’t tell it’s personal :)

Each of us has our own journey to travel and mine has been quite a ride. I am so excited now to see a new path to my ultimate goal .

I say, “New path”, but its just an off shoot of where I started yrs ago. Im only following what my horses lead me to. Its good for them and better for me. Thank God I’m an intuative person and even more, willing to go with it no matter what the “Norm” thinks!

***Brian Reid /HKTWH will be at Sable View in 2013. Look for the event info, and be amazed at where the experience take you. Personal and professional growth and awareness. http://horsesknowthewayhome.com

***Amelia Kinkade will be back to VT in May of 2013( still in the works ). Look for this and more up dates at

www.sableview.com

 

 

 

The first impressions of a colt…. “And you are??? Dump the ego!”

“True” will do it for you! True is a horse in small form. Okay technically a large pony by breed but  who measuring!  Honestly I think horse do all the time.

They measure your intention, emotions and demeanor all the time, from birth~

Rescently True had some visitors who ASSUMED way to much. I was suprised at the lack of insight myself. Before I Knew it Sarah’s stall was filled ( door open to paddock TG!) with 2 humans and she and True. By nature Sarah is very curiuos but also very energetically charged. All horses are  very perceptive, some take offence  to in your face human interaction more so than others. Sarah is one of those and  Bubba the same. You need to earn your place next to him. As it should be ! Immediatley I saw the MAKE we humans take on with animals, horses to stay on topic. And when we have a smaller animal we feel  even more able to dominate and or push around and handle. No real regard given to the natural emotion of the horse in question.

This was an amazing event to witness. Very purpose driven . I was  in the isle and  then went to stall side. I wish I  had a video to show. I was so taken off guard, with in a minute the whole thing was over, not tramatic visually but to the sensative nature of this mom and foal it was not a good first impression of these humans. The  message was given to leave stall, as the littlest one  was not going to be “Handled”.

So very cool to see the world through this little ones eyes.  More stories to come.

 

 

Listen with your eyes, slow down and be open to re-learning.

Great feed back!

Thanks for listening.

 

Sometimes , more often than not , I find myself  asking the universe to slow down and stop sending input. Do you ever get that way?

“For me, once I send the intention out , I know to buckle down for the goodness to come flooding in. Among the goodness is the greatness of learning”.

Learning comes from Students, horses, and life in general. Some time  either side of the equation has to be ready to Re Learn. 

As an instructor/mentor I am always  learning. That is my job. Best job in the world! Never ending self improvement.

In some cases I’m Re-Learning old things come new again. Funny how that works!  Some times its  brought to my attention while I am in learning mode other times it comes to me as I am working through things with my horses,( still learning mode, LOL  ),  or a student’s horse, to find the right answer.

If I ask a question and don’t get the right answer, I  ”Listen with my eyes, slow down and prepare to get potentially uncomfortable as I learn the lesson for the day” =  what the right equation is to find the answer I’m looking for. We must listen to our horses. Inappropriate behavior is not natural for them , its caused by something, It is a communication.

Why do you think this is so  hard for some people to do? ( humble pie…looking in the mirror and accepting your accountability to the situation?).

As a learner I am very introverted. I like  some hand holding, and not a lot of chaos.  I like to observe a lot: extremely visual! I take it home and  replay it in my minds eye while I attempt to emulate the maneuver ,  task or job to be completed.

Horses  , some of them, learn in the same way. They need time, and no chaos! Softness with corrections maybe so, but not with emotion. The real test is keep the emotion out of it for all. Often times  a horse is pushed to a point where they  feel all they  can do is be explosive, mis behave extremely, to get attention.

This is an introvert on the edge! Kinda sounds funny as I type it but its true. Like “Donkey ” in the movie Shrek, “Im a Donkey on the edge.”

In the wrong inexperienced hands( direct line and  predatory, not emotionally fit), this horse will be  man handled to comply: suppressed if you will. We all know it happens .  No one likes this! But then why don’t those who get this way see there is a problem and seek to address it in a more communicative manor. Not to say my idea of True Horsemanship should be  all flowers and  fluff , not at all, but horses  communicate in the purest of ways. If we can learn to respond accordingly and appropriately things will change.

They don’t want to win the game they want to be a part of a fair game. None of us as humans like being involved in a game or discussion which is so one sided. For me I know I just shut down, stop listening and or just walk away. Lots of signs are given prior to this departure, ( mental or physical), but if Im not thought of,  I’m gone. Being human we tend to have a mostly rational response and it is understood, Usually. Our counterpart see’s or perceives a rift and should respond accordingly to re open the door to play or communication. The results can vary depending on the degree of shut down. Horses, depending on the type of  brain they have  can be very rational and calculating in response or just blow. Don’t you love it when you see a horse get the message across . Or depending on the  clueless — ness of the human( Sorry), begin to try.

EX: Don’t think they don’t know where your foot is!  And suddenly  feel nothing from pressure to move off. This is a mild but classic case. Gotta love it!

A good leader, if ever caught in this situation, no one is perfect, (we cant be, we are human),would probably catch the rift before it grew too wide, and if ego was left out,  offer a softer solution and communication would be more 2 way. I do not think that this is being wishy washy. Here you get into a bit of the  school of

” You can’t let them think they’ve won”. How many of you still hear that today around horses. Talk about Human EGO! Again, horse don’t want to win they just want to be a participating member of your herd of 2. They want to know where they stand in your world . They want safety, and comfort. Ok food  and water too but lets hope that goes without saying. When I feel safe and comfortable I have fun.

Don’t you want your horses to have fun, and feel confident to express themselves? Good question huh? Do you know what that requires from us?

A great book “Play to Win ” by Larry and Hersch Wilson, discribes this perfeclty. Might I add this is an amazing book , full of Aha moments, that in  the first chapter clarified what I was going through in my life but couldnt  pin point or discribe to others. I had begun this transformaton and though aware of  it , so much was untangible.

” When we are talking about playing to win in the adventure of our lives, the traditional definitions of winning and losing don’t hold up. Of course , there are times when we need to call on our competative nature to accomplish what we have set out to accomplish. But competing to defeat someone is only one way of responding to the events we encounter. In fact, in the great adventure of our lives, there is no one to defeat.” P 22

In my world what I have found is you need to know what you want and like and will accept as a foundation to teach from with human and horses. But , no person is alike and no horse either , so to assume your way is the only way is quite bold. This holds true for  learners and  teachers. Guess we call it  being Closed Minded! Not seen too much in horses unless pushed too far, for too long and they are on shut down to humans.

From a  learners point of view, USUALLY…  taking what you learn and  making it your own is the very right thing to do. Its you , your horse , your job, so buck up and assume responsibility for your own decisions. Don’t  try it and say , “Ah this  doesn’t work,” because you got a response that backed you off. That my friends is communication“Listen with our eyes”. Admit you don’t know it all and ask for help for sure after  honest attempts have been made by you to find neutral.  This is the process of learning. So what if you might have caused the issue,We usually do. Welcome to the group.  It, thankfully to horses being so forgiving, can usually be fixed. As stated before , usually there are things that happen before the end result. If we all slow down and listen we might be able to not have to go there. It is here, at the ”Cross roads of communication,” that I see a lot of  the inconsistency, and hopping from one  thing to another to avoid  Accountability, (responsibility), to  your own  inadequacies, mistakes,  errors,  is so normal these days , kids and horses suffer. It’s not the  tools or the technique it’s the implementor.

I hear about  this a lot, and eventually see it first hand as  those who are ready to Re-learn( three cheers!!), come to me and ask for  help  finding the  way back to  a better relationship with here horses.  Challenges are opportunities to  grow and get better. With  horse I say they see you and raise you one or ten! Can you meet the challenge, find the way, and be the  leader, the Accountable/Responsible  human leader they need and are asking you to be?

It may not seem like asking when things get weird,( small things were over looked and now it huge), and  your sweet little horse  finally has taken a stand. Someone wants to have a say in the game plan. We can do one of 2 things,  go direct line , or “Listen with your eyes, slow down, and be open to Re Learning”. 

No one thing is perfect including who we look at in the mirror.  But it is that person, who if going it alone, with no willingness to look  imperfect for fear of looking like a failure, who them must eventually come to terms with  the big questions …

Whose fault is this really? Who or what is holding me back?

A very good friend/mentor worked through this with me and others over  a couple summers of intense horsemanship clinics,( not always about the riding), and  last time the group was asked

” What’s holding you back? “, I was very proud to say “Me”.  I got it loud and clear. Open the trunk, put my baggage on the corner and drive away!

No one else makes my final decisions,  plays with my horses, rides them , interacts with my circles of fiends. If I’m going to be what  I want to be, I need to be accountable. The past is over its time for many of us to move on!

Speaking as a horse owner and professional it’s a hard process to go thru but we can’t blame the horse worlds top names, or our childhood, or what ever we might come up with, for our inadequacies.  Its us,  practicing imperfectly, and not Listening with our eyes .  Horses serve up humble pie so well.

If your horse is asking you to step up, it’s the universe opening the door to a learning curve, will you accept the challenge  and  see where it takes you, professionally , personally?  Sometimes it’s not what we want revealed about ourselves.

Again an excerpt from the  book by Larry and Hersch Wilson called “Play to Win”..  discussing Playing to win, or Playing to not loose.

Playing to not loose: Avoiding situations where we might lose, fail, be emotioanlly hurt, or be rejected. p 23

Playing to Win: Consciously going as far as I can with all that I have and learn from what ever happens. p 25

Welcome to  true horsemanship… let the games begin.

 

How many lessons .. Part 2

A revelation to say the least. Since that day I often think back to the exact moment I spoke those words to myself and am amazed at its simplicity and it magnitude .

Protecting and Compensating. These are  two “Guarding” words if you thing about them, right? Technically  I was reffering to my leg, but symbolically, well there is a different story.

My Horsemanship Journey  though technical in many ways is not so much about the horse aspect but the personal growth and development.   Horses are my therapy.  My poor horses! :)   Over the last 8 yrs I have been on a wonderful journey, and of the last 2-3 its been getting really good. I have begun to unlock and reveal me.  How did it begin , at a clinic of all places. It really is so much more than riding. The obstacles and set backs I encounter with my horses  all have a greater purpose.  If it were not for  them I would not be writing this blog post. Why??? Because I would not be  aware enough or ready to hear what those words really meant for me! And more importantly , those of my students .

Compensating and Protecting,  it’s not about the ….leg , but My heart and emotions.  Long story , not a bad one just the way it was. Easier not to feel or express feelings. I know I am not alone in this.

So what came out of this wonderful Ah ha Moment???   I realized how emotionally exhausting it was for me to be on guard, and, that I was.

What was I “Really” scared of anyway???    This was a wake up call. Now its up to me to realistically look at what is holding me back and move it aside, or move through it .

**After adding this link to an older post , I had to laugh, and needed to fess up. I wasn’t denying the disease energy,  I was denying myself emotional release,
( Chicken! Just didn’t want to feel).
” You gain strength, courage and confidnece by every experience in which you  really stop and look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the things you think you can not do.” Eleanor Roosevelt

Break free and Play! 

How many lessons will I learn ?? Part 1

Compensating and protecting is exhausting…

Everything I do is in slow motion….Hmm??

Its taken me a while to get to this blog post.  It holds a lot and I think I needed to get distance from the event  that prompted it before I could write about it.

Let me begin with the first statement….

Nearly 9 weeks ago now I under went surgery for Melanoma Cancer. This was the last straw after taking our eldest to college in DC, ( emotionally  hard), getting stuck  due to Hurricane Irene,( fun having extra time with her). Got home after a week, thank God, to begin my next 6 weeks of service at the  food shelf developed  due to Irene. During this period I knew I needed to  get to the Dr to have things checked, finally  I did, and  long story short,  here I am and its all good!

When I began to get back to my barn routine  I was cautious with my leg, walking softly to say the least. One day I was  puttering at best , chipping away at stalls etc when I realised I was so protective of my  right  leg and really giving my left leg a run for its money with compensating . Often times I would take a break and sit on the  shavings bags to rest my leg and back, and move my shoulders around a bit then back to work. I said out loud, to myself, as I often do while in the barn,” Boy this compensating and protecting stuff is hard work”.

With that statement I had so many revelations come rushing in ……..